American Shorts

Indoctrination, Martial Law, Hitler, Tyranny…

September 28, 2009
Leave a Comment

It’s been well documented over the years that conservatives hate school. This is mostly due to the fact that schools teach English, math, history and science, which makes people smart (science is the biggie here). And if people become less stupid, and stop believing God is whispering to gremlin politicians, telling them to drop cluster bombs on brown and yellow people all over the world, politicians will lose power. And if they weren’t obsessed with power, they’d take jobs in the private sector that would pay them a shit ton more.

Turns out, 9/11 Truthers also hate school. I’m not sure of the real motivation behind this one. I assume it’s because when kids spend time in school, they’re not watching poorly-constructed YouTube movies about how Bush, Obama, Bill Clinton, and Tupac engineered 9/11 in order to police the world and kill it. Or something.

But, here’s something we might be hearing more about this week:

“Earlier this year,” according to Yahoo News, President Obama suggested that our students should spend more time in school due to the fact that we’re falling behind the rest of the world in basically every academic category.

“Now, I know longer school days and school years are not wildly popular ideas,” the president said earlier this year. “Not with Malia and Sasha, not in my family, and probably not in yours. But the challenges of a new century demand more time in the classroom.”

In a “recent interview with the Associate Press,” the education secretary explained that the school calendar was  “based upon the agrarian economy and not too many of our kids are working the fields today.”

It’s linked on the Drudge Report.

And it comes to this: Infowars.com has a headline that says, “Obama Demands Children Spend More Time in State Indoctrination Centers.”

Yep. State Indoctrination Centers.

I went to public school, and I don’t remember getting indoctrinated by “the state.” Now, I know it was a different time (Clinton was president) and Clinton wasn’t a black Hitler. He was just a white Hitler, according to these people, and that’s not so bad.

Alex Jones has already produced two documentaries about Obama. Can you imagine?250809top2 This guy is going to make millions off paranoid racists, 9/11 Truthers and a majority of conservatives who will believe anything bad there is to say about the president.

I’m sure you’re hearing about this now because of the phony outrage expressed by the right last week when a video of children being taught a patriotic song in school that happens to mention President Obama. The media needs something to sell this week, and since it doesn’t look like health care is coming to a vote any time soon, this is it.

The best is how whatever loser created this video actually put scary music in it. The comments are priceless. (For the record, yes, I think it’s a little creepy. But it’s not like these kids are grabbing assault rifles and killing Jews alongside Hitler’s scientists.)

basketballplayer182: Worship the messiah or you are not American. Pray the Obamahad 5 times daily toward D.C.

This must be what they want to replace the Pledge of Allegiance with in schools…

justhadsexwithyermom: Obama hates the U.S. & you fools voted him in just because he’s black.

I guess the jokes on you!

Anyway.

Since Barack Obama gave a speech telling kids to work hard, he indoctrinated them. Since he wants all Americans to have health care, he’s Hitler. This shit is getting really old, and I wonder when the right is going to wake up and realize they’ve knowingly(?) joined with the 9/11 Troof brigade, hating the president for reasons unknown, based purely on partisanship.

You know Michael Savage has now predicted a “false flag operation,” by the Obama administration, to declare martial law. Glenn Beck often copies whatever Michael Savage says, so he may soon predict this as well.

Martial law. Sigh.

What’s also funny about this shit is that Obama hasn’t really done anything yet. Like, seriously. What violence has he propagated? Really, none. I assume he’s working on getting the troops out from Afghanistan and Iraq, but I don’t know.

Have their been any Waco style events? Has Obama expanded upon the PATRIOT Act? Has he forced anyone, really, to do anything (besides the right wingers who pretend to believe he’s going to force them to change their doctor, or something)?

Advertisements

Judge To Birthers: Don’t Waste My Time Ever, Ever Again

September 17, 2009
1 Comment

orly-taitz_0195as-not-cropped

Every time I hear new news about the birther losers and, especially wigwam Orly Taitz, it reminds me of the quote from Billy Madison: “I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Well, now a judge has basically told her just that.

Huffington Post:

U.S. District Court Judge Clay Land has thrown out a complaint questioning the president’s birth from an Army captain fighting deployment to Iraq and gave a warning to her lawyer, birther maven Orly Taitz.

From Ledger Enquirer:

Land also put attorney Orly Taitz, who represents Capt. Connie Rhodes and is a leader in the national “birther” movement, on notice by stating that she could face sanctions if she ever files a similar “frivolous” lawsuit in his court.

“(Rhodes) has presented no credible evidence and has made no reliable factual allegations to support her unsubstantiated, conclusory allegations and conjecture that President Obama is ineligible to serve as president of the United States,” Land states in his order. “Instead, she uses her complaint as a platform for spouting political rhetoric, such as her claims that the president is ‘an illegal usurper, an unlawful pretender, [and] an unqualified imposter.'” […]

In his order, Land states in a footnote that Obama defeated seven opponents in a “grueling” primary campaign that cost the contenders more than $300 million. Obama then moved on to the general election, where he faced Sen. John McCain, who Land states got $84 million to wage his campaign.

“It would appear that ample opportunity existed for discovery of evidence that would support any contention that the president was not eligible for the office he sought,” Land says.

The judge adds that Congress hasn’t started impeachment proceedings against Obama, appears satisfied that he can hold the office and has rejected the suggestion he isn’t.

Taitz, who Land says has fueled the “birther movement” with her litigation, hasn’t appeared to have won any of her claims, the judge said. Taitz pressed her agenda by filing the complaint on behalf of Rhodes, a doctor who had her final two years of medical school paid for by taxpayers, Land states.

Rhodes doesn’t want to be discharged, relieved from her two-year obligation and hasn’t previously complained about any orders she’s received, including ones since Obama took office, Land says. The judge adds that Rhodes’ “conscientious objections” to serving Obama as commander in chief can be accommodated if she isn’t deployed.

This army captain should just come out with it and say the following: “I am scared to go to war in Iraq and am using this as my excuse. After all, the war is based on nothing, for nothing, and if I don’t save face, what else do I have?”


PHONY OUTRAGE ALERT: Mark Levin’s Stupid Book Using Scary Buzzwords

September 16, 2009
Leave a Comment

levin-beckel

The new phony outrage coming from the right is that Mark Levin’s book, “Liberty and Tyranny,” which predictably features the troll author on the cover standing in front of a — get this! — American flag, has sold 1,000,000 copies but hasn’t been reviewed by the New York Times or the Washington Post. Therefore, these papers are liberal. (Yawn.)

From CNS News:

Despite Liberty and Tyranny’s tremendous sales and high ranking on the Times’ best seller list, the Times itself has never reviewed the book, only giving it a few blurbs in its ‘Inside the List” feature that runs in the Sunday edition.

The Washington Post has also never reviewed the book.

Here’s the problem. One of the ways the right gets their fanatical ideas out into the mainstream is through their book clubs. Right wing billionaires fund these “conservative book clubs”, buy a shit ton of books, then sell them to book club members for .50. Technically, then, the books have been sold. Then, since they’re sold, the media has to pay attention to them, no matter how goofy, stupid, and, just wrong.

Has anyone ever listened to Mark Levin? He sounds like the angriest circuis clown. Like, a total psycho path.