American Shorts

Potential War With Iran?

October 2, 2009
1 Comment

Um, why do I have to read this story at Fox Nation, the internet’s worst website?

Obama said Iran must grant international inspectors “unfettered” access to its newly disclosed nuclear facility within two weeks.

This shit is fucked. I mean, really? Obama might use force against Iran?

I’m not that worried because, you can tell just by the way he speaks on such matters, that he really doesn’t want to. (The main reason for that is that there’s no reason to. Case closed.)

Iran, for all its rhetoric, is a peaceful country. I realize it’s in the middle east, and the middle east is bad, but come on — what has Iran done?

All the talk about Iranians training al Qaeda — unfounded. All the shit about I’m a Dinner Jacket inciting a Holocaust or something — based on nothing. And now we’re scared they’re going to build a nuclear bomb? Think about that. “A nuclear bomb.” One.

Iran building a bomb means nothing. There are plenty of countries throughout the world with bombs. They know that if they used these bombs, their countries would cease to exist because then the United States would have a real reason — backed up by everyone — to use our own bombs.

Why isn’t this being reported on the liberal blogs, or even news sites. No talk of it on Think Progress, Huffington Post or Crooks and Liars. Something needs to be said about the priorities of those whose “guy” is in power. I mean, liberal blogs are advertising T-shirts now saying “Respect the president.” Really? Do you wear that in rotation with your Che T-shirts?

As much as the radical right has been going nuts, pushing the same conspiracies they railed against during the Bush years, the left has really gotten in line here. I’m probably at least partially guilt of that. I mean, I like the guy. I want him to do awesome. I want America to be great. And in so doing, I’ve probably blown off lots of legitimate concerns by the right — even if most of the concerns are conspiracies that have to do with an innate hatred based on…lots of things.ShahNuclearPlants

For once, I think at least, Infowars might be right.

I thought Bush and Cheney wanted war with Iran, after they released that stupid speed boat video, and Bush used to claim I’m a Dinner Jacket was ready to bomb Israel, but Obama definitely doesn’t want to. And let’s be perfectly clear here. Iran has been building nuclear reactors since the 70s — the United States actually encouraged the Shah, our puppet, to do so.

I mean, I’m sorry the elections didn’t work out over there — but in 2000, they didn’t work out here, either. Shit happens. I’m glad people protested against their government over there, but that shouldn’t be used as a potential added excuse — as it could be — to commit genocide across what is a pretty up-to-date middle eastern country. If anything, the protests are a reason not to do anything — they’re fine. They practice free speech and seem to be allowed to do so, at least on some scale.

I just “hope” Obama doesn’t go the way of LBJ with this shit.

Advertisements

Infowars Psychotic Roundup

September 30, 2009
Leave a Comment

This picture was on Infowars. It’s pretty funny.

selfportThese headlines are on Inforwars. They’re also really, really funny:

Liberals and Democrats will support the coming mass murder campaign against Iran

Kurt Nimmo writes how the U.S. is going to slaughter Iran for false reasons the same way we did to Yugoslavia in the 90s with liberals pretending to believe it’s a human rights venture. Okay. I can see that.

Minnesota County Conducts “Operation Big Shot” Mass Vaccination Drill

Kurt Nimmo again. This time, he talks about how Ramsey County officials are going to force the H1N1 vaccine on their county as an experiment against the American people. Infowars is generally anti-vaccination. They think it’s for mind control, or something.

Paramilitary Force To Boss Internment Camp In Montana

I knew there was some shady police force that was going to begin guarding this prison in Montana, because they might switch the torture sites at Guantanamo Bay to this place. This article is about how the prison is actually — like FEMA camps — an experiment to imprison all Americans, for one reason or another, and then, like, New World Order (?)

This is the best line in the article:

Since a majority of the American people have now been designated as potential domestic terrorists by the federal government, fears are growing that the prison camp will be used to incarcerate citizens against their will during a flu pandemic or any other declared emergency.

“A majority” of Americans! Ha! Priceless!

Here’s a couple questions about the New World Order thing. Let’s say the Skull and Bones reptilian humanoids actually do wipe our humanity. Then what? There will be about 100 people left on earth. What are they going to do with each other? Will they keep really hot chicks alive to bang them? Because last time I looked, German Chancellor Merkel wasn’t exactly a looker. I mean, what’s the point of wiping out humanity? Who will they rule over? How will they fill their days? What will they eat?

I want an answer.


Gibbs: Is Steele hoping to hop a plane to Brazil and catch the Olympics in Rio?

September 30, 2009
Leave a Comment

Nice.

It’s true, you know. Those who criticize Obama for trying to get the olympics in America: Where do you think the olympics should be? Why isn’t America good enough for the olympics?

Why do you hate America so much?


Obama Wants Olympics In America Because He Hates America

September 29, 2009
Leave a Comment

It’s creeping up to 7am. Do you know what your phone outrage of the day is going to be?

The potential 2016 Olympics in Chicago.

foxnation

To conservatives, because Barack Obama is from Chicago (and everyone knows Barack Obama is a non-American Hitler), Chicago is also not American. On top of that, Chicago represents some other terrible things. Chicago is where conservatives pretend to beleive John F. Kennedy “stole” the 1960 election (even though there were several recounts in Illinois and JFK did not need Illinois’ electoral votes to in the election). If John F. Kennedy were never elected, they believe, there would be no liberals, no Kennedy “dynasty” and no Medicare and such (because LBJ, too, would never have been president.) Unfortunately, there still would have been Vietnam (started by Eisenhower), the U.S. still would have come off the gold standard, and Kissinger would still have slaughtered millions in Cambodia.

Anyway, other people from Chicago include the ultimate blogger, Rod “Blog” – Oi! – Uh, vich? and the ultimate Hitler-Jew, Rahm Emanuel (and his evil shadowy doctor brother, Ezekiel, who wants to perform human experimentation on your grandmother and retarded babies.) These people are all terrible, and Obama sleeps with the devil.

So.

Conservatives are pretending to believe Barack Obama has secret ambitions to get the Olympics in Chicago in 2016, his potential last year in office. And you know why he’s doing that? Think Berlin, 1938! You want me to explain further? (No.)

Charles Johnson at Little Green Footballs found this at Michelle Malkin’s phony outrage site:

On September 28th, 2009 at 2:20 pm, 24Klady said:

We can’t find out what the salaries of the czars are, and now another office funded out of a backroom with no $$ accountability. Does anyone doubt the U.S. portion of the Olympics will end up being paid for by the taxpayer, and the atheletes used for political purposes just like Berlin/1938?

[…]

On September 28th, 2009 at 2:51 pm, Tazed and Confused said:

Re: Obama shaking hands with inner-city school kids … encouraging them … .
“yea bro, you can deal crack, score a bodacious ho, and still become president … . lookatme!”

So. Drudge, who operates on misleading headlines that are phrased in such a way to get us to believe what’s “really” going on, has this up as his main headline right now:

drudge

All those people are, to the squidbillies, Obama. And if the Olympics come to Chicago (especially Obama’s Kenyan brothers and sisters who witnessed him birthed in Kenya, not Hawaii), Obama will hit us with 2x4s (or, hit OUR WALLETS with 2x4s) right after he re-creates 9/11 in some southern “real American” (see also: confederate) city in order to declare martial law.

But this is from the President Bush Whitehouse.org archives:

THE PRESIDENT: I want to thank the members of the 2016 Chicago bid to get the Olympics. Listen, Mr. Mayor, you and your committee have put together a great plan. It’s a plan that will make America proud.

They say that the Olympics will come to Chicago if we’re fortunate enough to be selected, but really it’s coming to America, and I can’t think of a better city to represent the United States than Chicago.
President George W. Bush and Chicago Mayor Richard Daley hold up a T-shirt touting Chicago 2016, during a meeting Monday, Jan. 7, 2008, with with members of the Chicago 2016 Bid Committee and the U.S. Olympic Committee. Said the President, "This country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics." White House photo by Joyce N. Boghosian This is a well thought out venue. There will be — the athletes will be taken care of. People who will be coming from around the world will find this good city has got fantastic accommodations, great restaurants. It will be safe.

And so I — this country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics.

Thank you all.

President Bush, I think, is in on this secret plot by Obama, somehow. But nevermind that. He wasn’t a “real conservative“, remember? Only Sarah Palin is.

Sometimes, you’ve just got to look at this shit and wonder the lengths these pundits/character actors will go to in order to work a fake story. I mean, getting the olympics to Chicago is anti-American? Why?

Actually, I’m still wondering how Obama is like Hitler. I know, they both executed a Holocaust — but I mean besides that.

The fact is this. Conservatives, as they exist today (the wingnut version) are children. Babies without a bottle. They’re so angry they’re out of power and, of all people, a black man is in power, they’re willing to forget everything they pretended to support over the last, I don’t know, 20 — 30? — years. That’s why you’ve now got conservatives calling for a pullout of the middle east, and the rest of the world. That’s why suddenly they want back on the gold standard and police are bad.

They’re willing to accept any conspiracy theory, no matter how psycho, in order to convince one more tobacco-lip-stuffing hillbilly to vote against Barack Obama in 2012 and write incoherent comments on right wing blogs. It makes you wonder: If Al Gore had been president on 9/11, how many mainstream right wingers would be Troofers?

We all supported George W. at that time for a couple reasons. First of all, he was a naive nitwit who had no idea as to what he was doing (and could have had no idea 9/11 was going to happen). We prayed he’d come around, and when crisis strikes, Americans overwhelmingly support their president (highest approval ratings ever = Roosevelt after Pearl Harbor, Truman after Roosevelt’s death, Bush after 9/11). Second of all, as a naive nitwit, we knew he’d bomb the shit out of whoever did it. Turns out, he just bombed the shit out of the guy his dad also hated so he could get re-elected in a few years. Oh well. It was a good try by us.

But back to the point: This ‘martial law’ and ‘tyranny’ talk isn’t anything new. Mainstream right wing crybabies are willing to forgo all respect when it comes to getting their power back. Remember Ann Coulter spoke on 24-news about what Bill Clinton’s penis looked like (as if she wasn’t fantasizing)? You consider he was actually impeached for banging a fat chick — they’re willing to do anything to humiliate the opposition and appease the character actors playing right wing zealots on TV and radio.

0413_tucker_carlson_fm

Conservatives are going to be all against the olympics for a while now. (After all, the olympics is just like the U.N…All the countries get together…One World Government…Fascism…Global “warming”…) And all this is going to somehow lead us back to the school “indoctrination” thing, and how children singing a song in school about many presidents (but putting just one part, about the “fascist” president, on YouTube) is basically the same as Mao and the Khymer Rouge because young athletes visited the White House the other day.

I hate everyone.


Facebook User: Kill Obama (Because of his policies and only his policies, not because I, and others like me, are crazy people)

September 28, 2009
Leave a Comment

Look. Conservatives protesting against Obama ARE NOT RACIST!

Why don’t you gay-loving liberals get that through your thick skulls!

Don’t tread on me! Obama just wants to give all my hard-earned money to BLACK PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK!!! THIS HAS NOTHING — NOTHING! — TO DO WITH RACISM!

original

When someone on Facebook asks, “Should Obama be killed?” and 730 people actually vote in the poll, it has nothing to do with the fact that hillbillies have all the sudden come out of the woodwork, guns loaded, irrationality in full swing.

The poll asked respondents “Should Obama be killed?” The choices: No, Maybe, Yes, and Yes if he cuts my health care.

The question was not created by Facebook, but by an independent person using an add-on application that has been suspended from the site.

“The third-party application that enabled an individual user to create the offensive poll was brought to our attention this morning,” said Barry Schnitt, Facebook’s spokesman for policy.

IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE AGAINST HIS POLICIES! (Also, white Christians are descriminated against in America.)


Indoctrination, Martial Law, Hitler, Tyranny…

September 28, 2009
Leave a Comment

It’s been well documented over the years that conservatives hate school. This is mostly due to the fact that schools teach English, math, history and science, which makes people smart (science is the biggie here). And if people become less stupid, and stop believing God is whispering to gremlin politicians, telling them to drop cluster bombs on brown and yellow people all over the world, politicians will lose power. And if they weren’t obsessed with power, they’d take jobs in the private sector that would pay them a shit ton more.

Turns out, 9/11 Truthers also hate school. I’m not sure of the real motivation behind this one. I assume it’s because when kids spend time in school, they’re not watching poorly-constructed YouTube movies about how Bush, Obama, Bill Clinton, and Tupac engineered 9/11 in order to police the world and kill it. Or something.

But, here’s something we might be hearing more about this week:

“Earlier this year,” according to Yahoo News, President Obama suggested that our students should spend more time in school due to the fact that we’re falling behind the rest of the world in basically every academic category.

“Now, I know longer school days and school years are not wildly popular ideas,” the president said earlier this year. “Not with Malia and Sasha, not in my family, and probably not in yours. But the challenges of a new century demand more time in the classroom.”

In a “recent interview with the Associate Press,” the education secretary explained that the school calendar was  “based upon the agrarian economy and not too many of our kids are working the fields today.”

It’s linked on the Drudge Report.

And it comes to this: Infowars.com has a headline that says, “Obama Demands Children Spend More Time in State Indoctrination Centers.”

Yep. State Indoctrination Centers.

I went to public school, and I don’t remember getting indoctrinated by “the state.” Now, I know it was a different time (Clinton was president) and Clinton wasn’t a black Hitler. He was just a white Hitler, according to these people, and that’s not so bad.

Alex Jones has already produced two documentaries about Obama. Can you imagine?250809top2 This guy is going to make millions off paranoid racists, 9/11 Truthers and a majority of conservatives who will believe anything bad there is to say about the president.

I’m sure you’re hearing about this now because of the phony outrage expressed by the right last week when a video of children being taught a patriotic song in school that happens to mention President Obama. The media needs something to sell this week, and since it doesn’t look like health care is coming to a vote any time soon, this is it.

The best is how whatever loser created this video actually put scary music in it. The comments are priceless. (For the record, yes, I think it’s a little creepy. But it’s not like these kids are grabbing assault rifles and killing Jews alongside Hitler’s scientists.)

basketballplayer182: Worship the messiah or you are not American. Pray the Obamahad 5 times daily toward D.C.

This must be what they want to replace the Pledge of Allegiance with in schools…

justhadsexwithyermom: Obama hates the U.S. & you fools voted him in just because he’s black.

I guess the jokes on you!

Anyway.

Since Barack Obama gave a speech telling kids to work hard, he indoctrinated them. Since he wants all Americans to have health care, he’s Hitler. This shit is getting really old, and I wonder when the right is going to wake up and realize they’ve knowingly(?) joined with the 9/11 Troof brigade, hating the president for reasons unknown, based purely on partisanship.

You know Michael Savage has now predicted a “false flag operation,” by the Obama administration, to declare martial law. Glenn Beck often copies whatever Michael Savage says, so he may soon predict this as well.

Martial law. Sigh.

What’s also funny about this shit is that Obama hasn’t really done anything yet. Like, seriously. What violence has he propagated? Really, none. I assume he’s working on getting the troops out from Afghanistan and Iraq, but I don’t know.

Have their been any Waco style events? Has Obama expanded upon the PATRIOT Act? Has he forced anyone, really, to do anything (besides the right wingers who pretend to believe he’s going to force them to change their doctor, or something)?


Conservatives Now Care About Hippies Protesting

September 25, 2009
1 Comment

Drudge linked to a YouTube video expressing shock that “acoustic weapons” are “unleashed” on American soil.

I’m sorry, would we rather the police beat the shit out of these people with nightsticks?

In conclusion, who gives a fuck?


Drudge Report: Shit Website

September 24, 2009
Leave a Comment

Remember this?

500x_drudgebeatingA “white student” gets bullied and it’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened, ever. It means something about Obama. Racism, black people killing white people because Obama is in office.

Rush Limbaugh said this about the Drudge headline:

“I think the guy’s wrong. I think not only it was racism, it was justifiable racism. I mean, that’s the lesson that we’re being taught here today. Kid shouldn’t have been on the bus anyway. We need segregated buses — it was invading space and so forth. This is Obama’s America.

“In Obama’s America, the white kids now get beat up with the black kids cheering, ‘Yay, right on, right on, right on, right on. I wonder if Obama’s going to come to the defense of the assailants the way he did his friend Skip Gates up there at Harvard.”

Rush_Limbaugh[1]_20090918144241_320_240

Well, a census worker was actually murdered today in what looks like a political assassination. An act of terrorism. That little incident gets this:

drudgereport

Last but not least, this is Drudge’s headline right now:

500x_drudge

And here’s where that headline comes from (Obama’s speech at the UN):

“No world order that elevates one nation or group of people over another will succeed.”

These fucking people.


Right Wing Blogger Fantasizes About Beating Up Black Children In DC

September 18, 2009
1 Comment

This is just hilarious.

Okay, set the scene:

Dan Reihl is some loser blogger (like me !) He was at the Tea Patriot March of the Retards on September 12, along with other white, retired losers from all over the country, protesting against Obama’s daily meetings with Satan.

So, he posted this blog about being on a train after the protest, and — look out! — BLACK KIDS got on. He posted about it.

Riding out of DC on the Metro, 9/12, there were some folks from South Dakota and also another Mid-West state I can’t recall in the same Metro car. We were talking, nothing special, really – politics, of course.

In the back were maybe ten or so black kids taking up that section of the car. There was no confrontation, just one or two of them talking loudly enough to make sure they’d be heard.

Without resorting to the poor diction it was along the lines of, these are the people who think Obama is the anti-Christ. That McCain he wasn’t chit. Obama’s going to be president as long as he wants, so these people better get used to it, etc. It went on but not really to a level that was so loud, or so confrontational that it needed to be addressed.

We just ignored them without much trouble at all.

Yeah, they were technically thugs. But the reality was they were still wannabes really, pretty young, not that big, or many. And if the several adults there for 9/12 actually needed to do something about it, the kids wouldn’t have lasted very long. Maybe if they were bigger, or more numerous, it might have been worse. Or it may not have happened at all. Who knows?

Dan, some things you just keep to yourself.

Charles Johnson at LGF had a hilarious take on the whole thing:

Now there’s true courage. If those black kids had tried something, Dan Riehl was ready. Man, he would have shown them.

Of course, they didn’t try anything. But the potential for serious violence was in the air! He could tell by their “poor diction.”

Oh no. That’s not racist at all.

I think Gawker was correct when they equated Glenn Beck to a terrorist and his minions of gullibles to al Qaeda in America. Yeah, that was true. But here’s another thing. It’s very clear from Dan’s blog that he rarely encounters black people. Imagine what it was like for him to wake up on November 5, realizing a black person was president. He and the Tea Patriots must have shit themselves. He’s still of the mindset that because these kids were sarcastically making fun of he and his Dakotans, they were a) “thugs” and b) ready to fight.

I mean, really?

That’s why you see these all-cap internet commenters, who are generally 10-20 years behind everyone else, rant on boards about how all Democrats are on welfare and want handouts — they just don’t know any better. That’s why Joe The Plumber is their hero, or something. He was an unemployed loser who had aspirations of being a rich guy through “hard work.” But, clearly, that never happened. Joe The Plumber was actually more concerned with telling his life story to a ghost writer and posing for a picture in front of an American flag than “hard work.” I mean, God bless him, he’s one of the people Glenn Beck talks about when he fools his audience into thinking they would all be rich if the Democrats would just stop with the taxes. Joe actually got rich by doing what Beck’s audience does: Nothing.

What’s also interesting is what follows in Reihl’s blog:

But what’s unfortunately becoming increasingly clear is that, for the people who thought Obama’s election would make America post-racial? I’m afraid you’re wrong. Some of the potential racial narratives that may still play out during his presidency might not be that pretty at all.

Okay, first of all, no one thought Obama’s election was going to make America “post-racial.” Post-racial is not possible as long as there are still people alive who lived through a “racial” time. There are still people living who tea-bagged against black students integrating into Arkansas schools. There are still veterans who served in a divided military, in which black soldiers were shipped to Europe and Japan at the bottom of ships while the white soldiers rode at the top. Shit, Rosa Parks just died three years ago.

It’s going to take decades before we’re anything close to “post-racial”, but that’s besides the point.

When was the last time a president-elect was blamed for a recession?

When was the last time a president was believed to be the actual anti-Christ by over 30 percent of Republicans living in a blue state (where, supposedly, Republicans are more moderate)?

When was the last time a president’s birth place was debated?

I mean, Fox News and their ilk pretend to believe white Christians are prosecuted in America, which is close to the dumbest thing ever said by anyone, ever.

We’re not further away from being “post-racial” because of anything Barack Obama did. We’re further from post-raciality because of the Tea Patriots and their conspiracy theories that could be — if they were willing to perceive being wrong — proven wrong with a 3-second internet search.

That’s my biggest problem. It takes 3 seconds. Type “Barack Obama birth certificate” into Google. Just do it. Go to any number of debunking websites. There are photos of people from the Annenberg Foundation in Hawaii, holding the birth certificate with their hands. But, yeah — they’re part of the conspiracy, right?

We can’t be post racial as long as ignorance is celebrated. And because of people like Dan Reihl and the Tea Patriots, it is.


Jimmy Carter: Still Correct About A Ton Of Shit

September 16, 2009
Leave a Comment

jimmycarter

Jimmy Carter is the man. Why won’t anyone else just say it like it is?

Huffington Post:

ATLANTA (AP) — Former President Jimmy Carter said Tuesday that U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson’s outburst to President Barack Obama during a speech to Congress last week was an act “based on racism” and rooted in fears of a black president.

“I think it’s based on racism,” Carter said at a town hall held at his presidential center in Atlanta. “There is an inherent feeling among many in this country that an African-American should not be president.”

The Georgia Democrat said the outburst was a part of a disturbing trend directed at the president that has included demonstrators equating Obama to Nazi leaders.

“Those kind of things are not just casual outcomes of a sincere debate on whether we should have a national program on health care,” he said. “It’s deeper than that.”

Related: The Onion: I Got What America Needs Right Here

So you want me to run for president again? Yeah, sure, absolutely, I’ll do it. I’d be honored to do it—with my fucking dick in your mouth, you worthless scumbags.

You had your chance with Jimmy Carter, and you fucking blew it. So get fucked. Fucking country.


Next Page »