American Shorts

Obama Wants Olympics In America Because He Hates America

September 29, 2009
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It’s creeping up to 7am. Do you know what your phone outrage of the day is going to be?

The potential 2016 Olympics in Chicago.

foxnation

To conservatives, because Barack Obama is from Chicago (and everyone knows Barack Obama is a non-American Hitler), Chicago is also not American. On top of that, Chicago represents some other terrible things. Chicago is where conservatives pretend to beleive John F. Kennedy “stole” the 1960 election (even though there were several recounts in Illinois and JFK did not need Illinois’ electoral votes to in the election). If John F. Kennedy were never elected, they believe, there would be no liberals, no Kennedy “dynasty” and no Medicare and such (because LBJ, too, would never have been president.) Unfortunately, there still would have been Vietnam (started by Eisenhower), the U.S. still would have come off the gold standard, and Kissinger would still have slaughtered millions in Cambodia.

Anyway, other people from Chicago include the ultimate blogger, Rod “Blog” – Oi! – Uh, vich? and the ultimate Hitler-Jew, Rahm Emanuel (and his evil shadowy doctor brother, Ezekiel, who wants to perform human experimentation on your grandmother and retarded babies.) These people are all terrible, and Obama sleeps with the devil.

So.

Conservatives are pretending to believe Barack Obama has secret ambitions to get the Olympics in Chicago in 2016, his potential last year in office. And you know why he’s doing that? Think Berlin, 1938! You want me to explain further? (No.)

Charles Johnson at Little Green Footballs found this at Michelle Malkin’s phony outrage site:

On September 28th, 2009 at 2:20 pm, 24Klady said:

We can’t find out what the salaries of the czars are, and now another office funded out of a backroom with no $$ accountability. Does anyone doubt the U.S. portion of the Olympics will end up being paid for by the taxpayer, and the atheletes used for political purposes just like Berlin/1938?

[…]

On September 28th, 2009 at 2:51 pm, Tazed and Confused said:

Re: Obama shaking hands with inner-city school kids … encouraging them … .
“yea bro, you can deal crack, score a bodacious ho, and still become president … . lookatme!”

So. Drudge, who operates on misleading headlines that are phrased in such a way to get us to believe what’s “really” going on, has this up as his main headline right now:

drudge

All those people are, to the squidbillies, Obama. And if the Olympics come to Chicago (especially Obama’s Kenyan brothers and sisters who witnessed him birthed in Kenya, not Hawaii), Obama will hit us with 2x4s (or, hit OUR WALLETS with 2x4s) right after he re-creates 9/11 in some southern “real American” (see also: confederate) city in order to declare martial law.

But this is from the President Bush Whitehouse.org archives:

THE PRESIDENT: I want to thank the members of the 2016 Chicago bid to get the Olympics. Listen, Mr. Mayor, you and your committee have put together a great plan. It’s a plan that will make America proud.

They say that the Olympics will come to Chicago if we’re fortunate enough to be selected, but really it’s coming to America, and I can’t think of a better city to represent the United States than Chicago.
President George W. Bush and Chicago Mayor Richard Daley hold up a T-shirt touting Chicago 2016, during a meeting Monday, Jan. 7, 2008, with with members of the Chicago 2016 Bid Committee and the U.S. Olympic Committee. Said the President, "This country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics." White House photo by Joyce N. Boghosian This is a well thought out venue. There will be — the athletes will be taken care of. People who will be coming from around the world will find this good city has got fantastic accommodations, great restaurants. It will be safe.

And so I — this country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics.

Thank you all.

President Bush, I think, is in on this secret plot by Obama, somehow. But nevermind that. He wasn’t a “real conservative“, remember? Only Sarah Palin is.

Sometimes, you’ve just got to look at this shit and wonder the lengths these pundits/character actors will go to in order to work a fake story. I mean, getting the olympics to Chicago is anti-American? Why?

Actually, I’m still wondering how Obama is like Hitler. I know, they both executed a Holocaust — but I mean besides that.

The fact is this. Conservatives, as they exist today (the wingnut version) are children. Babies without a bottle. They’re so angry they’re out of power and, of all people, a black man is in power, they’re willing to forget everything they pretended to support over the last, I don’t know, 20 — 30? — years. That’s why you’ve now got conservatives calling for a pullout of the middle east, and the rest of the world. That’s why suddenly they want back on the gold standard and police are bad.

They’re willing to accept any conspiracy theory, no matter how psycho, in order to convince one more tobacco-lip-stuffing hillbilly to vote against Barack Obama in 2012 and write incoherent comments on right wing blogs. It makes you wonder: If Al Gore had been president on 9/11, how many mainstream right wingers would be Troofers?

We all supported George W. at that time for a couple reasons. First of all, he was a naive nitwit who had no idea as to what he was doing (and could have had no idea 9/11 was going to happen). We prayed he’d come around, and when crisis strikes, Americans overwhelmingly support their president (highest approval ratings ever = Roosevelt after Pearl Harbor, Truman after Roosevelt’s death, Bush after 9/11). Second of all, as a naive nitwit, we knew he’d bomb the shit out of whoever did it. Turns out, he just bombed the shit out of the guy his dad also hated so he could get re-elected in a few years. Oh well. It was a good try by us.

But back to the point: This ‘martial law’ and ‘tyranny’ talk isn’t anything new. Mainstream right wing crybabies are willing to forgo all respect when it comes to getting their power back. Remember Ann Coulter spoke on 24-news about what Bill Clinton’s penis looked like (as if she wasn’t fantasizing)? You consider he was actually impeached for banging a fat chick — they’re willing to do anything to humiliate the opposition and appease the character actors playing right wing zealots on TV and radio.

0413_tucker_carlson_fm

Conservatives are going to be all against the olympics for a while now. (After all, the olympics is just like the U.N…All the countries get together…One World Government…Fascism…Global “warming”…) And all this is going to somehow lead us back to the school “indoctrination” thing, and how children singing a song in school about many presidents (but putting just one part, about the “fascist” president, on YouTube) is basically the same as Mao and the Khymer Rouge because young athletes visited the White House the other day.

I hate everyone.


Conservatives Now Care About Hippies Protesting

September 25, 2009
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Drudge linked to a YouTube video expressing shock that “acoustic weapons” are “unleashed” on American soil.

I’m sorry, would we rather the police beat the shit out of these people with nightsticks?

In conclusion, who gives a fuck?


Census Worker Killed

September 24, 2009
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r-CENSUS-HANGING-huge

AP/Huffpost:

WASHINGTON — The FBI is investigating the hanging death of a U.S. Census worker near a Kentucky cemetery, and a law enforcement official told The Associated Press the word ‘fed” was scrawled on the dead man’s chest.

The body of Bill Sparkman, a 51-year-old part-time Census field worker and occasional teacher, was found Sept. 12 in a remote patch of the Daniel Boone National Forest in rural southeast Kentucky. The Census has suspended door-to-door interviews in rural Clay County, where the body was found, pending the outcome of the investigation.

ACORN members!

Inciting irrational people is awesome, Michele.

Think Progress (letter from Rep. Boehner and Cantor)

We wanted to respond to your letter to us last week and to assure you that regardless of what inside-the-beltway media writes or what unnamed “sources” it quotes, we are proud to serve with Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. […]

When the other side can’t come up with arguments to defend their policies, they turn to personal attacks against their detractors. Congresswoman Bachmann stands shoulder to shoulder with her constituents and that really seems to irk some on the left. We fully expect that despite the best attempts of the media and the liberals, Michelle will continue to be a strong voice for freedom, smaller government, and better solutions.


UPDATED: Follow Your Leader

September 10, 2009
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hecklerjoewi

South Carolina (where else) Representative Joe Wilson yelled and screamed like a baby without his bottle tonight during the president’s speech.

You get the government you deserve, people. Since 1980, politicians have been telling us that Washington is bad, so go ahead and elect people dedicated to killing all government proposals. Send the idiots to work so they can essentially do nothing.

If they can’t stop legislation based on fact, let them spread ridiculous rumors about the president being born overseas or wanting to put Nana and Pop Pop on death panels or the idea that illegal immigrants will receive free health care. Certain people — the ones you represent — will believe you, because they will believe anything bad about the black president they want to claim as illegitimate.

This is what you get.

Out Organizing ObamaWe’re fucked.

UPDATE: Clockwork.

RedState:

Joe Wilson has been identified as the Republican who yelled out that Barack Obama was a liar.

He gets a drink on me!

CONTRIBUTE TO JOE WILSON HERE.

Bob Bennett (RINO-UT) was the only Republican who stood up and clapped when Barack Obama bashed Sarah Palin over the death panels. That jackass should be taken out in a primary.


Orly Taitz: Totally Worth It For The Comedic Value

September 9, 2009
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dr-orly-taitz-pancake-birther

Tanned wigwam Orly Taitz has a new Obama birth certificate she’s claiming is real. Of course, there are a couple problems.

Washington Independent:

Josh Gerstein is all over the Justice Department’s filing in Orly Taitz’s latest “birther” lawsuit. Taitz’s suit includes — not as evidence, but as something she wants the court to verify — a ridiculously obvious forgery of a 1961 Kenyan birth certificate, obtained by a man who identifies himself as “Lucas Smith, an American,” who debuted the certificate via a shaky, “Blair Witch Project”-style video before submitting it to Taitz.

How do we know it’s a forgery? Because in a lengthy article on the case, WorldNetDaily notes that it “has reported on an authentic 1961-era Kenyan birth certificate, which looks distinctly different from the document Smith released in the video.” Not that this prevented them from headlining the new story “Panic in D.C.?”

“Damn. I’ve been had again, with another fake birth certificate!”

What is wrong with these people? Have they nothing else to do? What is Orly Taitz doing for money? She’s paying both for these fake birth certificates, and she’s paying to live (eat, drive, shop) everyday.

Who the fuck is paying her?


Bachman ’12

September 4, 2009
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You can’t make this shit up.bachmannpb

Elected retarded person Michele Bachman is claiming Democrats are sabotaging her because they’re afraid she’ll be the first woman president.

Michele Bachman. President.

Let that sink in.

Think Progress:

BACHMANN: Also with women politicians, they want to make sure no women, no woman becomes president before a Democrat woman, and so they’re doing everything they can to, I think, sabotage women like Sarah Palin, perhaps women like myself, or similarly situated women, to make sure that we don’t have a prominent national voice. But the thing is, the people in our country, they don’t care who the voice is, they just want someone, they want to know that someone is speaking out for them against what will certainly bring about the destruction of our great country if we continue to go down the Obama path.

American morons don’t realize they’re actually sabotaging themselves, not becuase they’re women, but because they’re psychotically unintellectual.


Conspiracy Theorists: Those Who Offend Us Are Nazis

September 3, 2009
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This is awesome.

Conspiracy website Inforwars.com (often legitimized by Fox News becuase of its Barack Obama conspiracy theories) takes on phychology because a Psychology Today article talks about the mentality of someone who would believe any bad thing about anyone they don’t like.

They refer to the article as a “hit piece.”

But hey, at least they understand they they are conspiracy theorists. So, in a way, the Psychology Today has done some good.

InfoWars takes the high road, though. They just talk about the phychologists who helped Stalin and Hitler (Obama’s very close friends).

No mention on how the media also helped Nazi Germany. No mention of how Jewish prisoners were forced to work on railroads, which would also lead us to conclude that railroad workers helped Hitler and are, therefore, as dangerous as psychologists.

Also, at some point, I’m sure a zookeeper joined the German army. Zookeepers, you’re next.

According to a Psychology Today hit piece written by psychologist John Gartner, people prone to thinking that powerful men might actually get together and plan to maintain and advance their power are borderline psychotics who are a danger to society. In reality, hundreds of years of history has taught us that psychologists routinely aid authoritarian regimes in enforcing tyrannical and inhumane policies while helping them crush political opposition by defining suspicion of authorities as a mental illness.

As we highlighted in our article yesterday, psychologists in the Soviet Union were used to stifle free speech by classifying skepticism and political opposition to the state as a mental illness, which is precisely the implication littered throughout Gartner’s crass hit piece.

In the former Soviet Union, psikhushkas — mental hospitals — were used by the state as prisons in order to isolate political prisoners, discredit their ideas, and break them physically and mentally. The Soviet state began using mental hospitals to punish dissidents in 1939 under Stalin.

According to official Soviet psychiatry and the Moscow Serbsky Institute at the time, “ideas about a struggle for truth and justice are formed by personalities with a paranoid structure.” Treatment for this special political schizophrenia included various forms of restraint, electric shocks, electromagnetic torture, radiation torture, lumbar punctures, various drugs — such as narcotics, tranquilizers, and insulin — and beatings. Anne Applebaum, author of Gulag: A History, indicates that at least 365 sane people were treated for “politically defined madness,” although she surmises there were many more.


Savage Gets Down To It

September 2, 2009
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I really do think that the Michele Bachmann’s of the world and the Glenn Beck’s of the world are actively, consciously or subconsciously trying to get, I’m just going to say it, they are trying to get the President killed.


Michelle Bachmann: Still Paid By You

September 1, 2009
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Why?

Colorado Independent:

DENVER — In a fiery speech that had her conservative Colorado audience cheering, U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann railed against the dangers of health care reform and other Democratic initiatives, warning the proposals “have the strength to destroy this country forever.”

“This cannot pass,” the Minnesota Republican told a crowd at a Denver gathering sponsored by the Independence Institute. “What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass.”

Crazy isn’t the word.


Michelle Bachman Gets Paid By You

August 25, 2009
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Michelle Bachman has to wake up every day knowing who she is. We have to wake up every day knowing we pay her salaryB001256

Minnesota Independent:

“We all need to consider that in God’s timing that he may have allowed us, as members of Congress, to be in the position that we’re in just for this specific issue right now,” she said.

“Everything that all of us have worked together and labored for over the years, all of it could be undermined with this one bill. President Obama realizes that. The radicals that are on the pro-abortion left, they realize that. They could win it all. And the unborn, and the vulnerable, the disabled and those at the end of life could lose it it all.”

“That’s really where this battle will be won — on our knees in prayer and fasting,” she told the listeners. “Remember: faith without works is dead. So we’re asking you to do all of it: pray, fast, believe, trust the Lord, but also act.”

It should be noted that somewhat unreported news came out this week in which it was found that Tom Ridge and the DHS raised the infantile terror alerts through 2005 in order to keep Bush’s approval rating up.

We don’t learn. They get what they want by appealing to the side of us that’s scared of death.