American Shorts

Obama Wants Olympics In America Because He Hates America

September 29, 2009
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It’s creeping up to 7am. Do you know what your phone outrage of the day is going to be?

The potential 2016 Olympics in Chicago.

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To conservatives, because Barack Obama is from Chicago (and everyone knows Barack Obama is a non-American Hitler), Chicago is also not American. On top of that, Chicago represents some other terrible things. Chicago is where conservatives pretend to beleive John F. Kennedy “stole” the 1960 election (even though there were several recounts in Illinois and JFK did not need Illinois’ electoral votes to in the election). If John F. Kennedy were never elected, they believe, there would be no liberals, no Kennedy “dynasty” and no Medicare and such (because LBJ, too, would never have been president.) Unfortunately, there still would have been Vietnam (started by Eisenhower), the U.S. still would have come off the gold standard, and Kissinger would still have slaughtered millions in Cambodia.

Anyway, other people from Chicago include the ultimate blogger, Rod “Blog” – Oi! – Uh, vich? and the ultimate Hitler-Jew, Rahm Emanuel (and his evil shadowy doctor brother, Ezekiel, who wants to perform human experimentation on your grandmother and retarded babies.) These people are all terrible, and Obama sleeps with the devil.

So.

Conservatives are pretending to believe Barack Obama has secret ambitions to get the Olympics in Chicago in 2016, his potential last year in office. And you know why he’s doing that? Think Berlin, 1938! You want me to explain further? (No.)

Charles Johnson at Little Green Footballs found this at Michelle Malkin’s phony outrage site:

On September 28th, 2009 at 2:20 pm, 24Klady said:

We can’t find out what the salaries of the czars are, and now another office funded out of a backroom with no $$ accountability. Does anyone doubt the U.S. portion of the Olympics will end up being paid for by the taxpayer, and the atheletes used for political purposes just like Berlin/1938?

[…]

On September 28th, 2009 at 2:51 pm, Tazed and Confused said:

Re: Obama shaking hands with inner-city school kids … encouraging them … .
“yea bro, you can deal crack, score a bodacious ho, and still become president … . lookatme!”

So. Drudge, who operates on misleading headlines that are phrased in such a way to get us to believe what’s “really” going on, has this up as his main headline right now:

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All those people are, to the squidbillies, Obama. And if the Olympics come to Chicago (especially Obama’s Kenyan brothers and sisters who witnessed him birthed in Kenya, not Hawaii), Obama will hit us with 2x4s (or, hit OUR WALLETS with 2x4s) right after he re-creates 9/11 in some southern “real American” (see also: confederate) city in order to declare martial law.

But this is from the President Bush Whitehouse.org archives:

THE PRESIDENT: I want to thank the members of the 2016 Chicago bid to get the Olympics. Listen, Mr. Mayor, you and your committee have put together a great plan. It’s a plan that will make America proud.

They say that the Olympics will come to Chicago if we’re fortunate enough to be selected, but really it’s coming to America, and I can’t think of a better city to represent the United States than Chicago.
President George W. Bush and Chicago Mayor Richard Daley hold up a T-shirt touting Chicago 2016, during a meeting Monday, Jan. 7, 2008, with with members of the Chicago 2016 Bid Committee and the U.S. Olympic Committee. Said the President, "This country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics." White House photo by Joyce N. Boghosian This is a well thought out venue. There will be — the athletes will be taken care of. People who will be coming from around the world will find this good city has got fantastic accommodations, great restaurants. It will be safe.

And so I — this country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics.

Thank you all.

President Bush, I think, is in on this secret plot by Obama, somehow. But nevermind that. He wasn’t a “real conservative“, remember? Only Sarah Palin is.

Sometimes, you’ve just got to look at this shit and wonder the lengths these pundits/character actors will go to in order to work a fake story. I mean, getting the olympics to Chicago is anti-American? Why?

Actually, I’m still wondering how Obama is like Hitler. I know, they both executed a Holocaust — but I mean besides that.

The fact is this. Conservatives, as they exist today (the wingnut version) are children. Babies without a bottle. They’re so angry they’re out of power and, of all people, a black man is in power, they’re willing to forget everything they pretended to support over the last, I don’t know, 20 — 30? — years. That’s why you’ve now got conservatives calling for a pullout of the middle east, and the rest of the world. That’s why suddenly they want back on the gold standard and police are bad.

They’re willing to accept any conspiracy theory, no matter how psycho, in order to convince one more tobacco-lip-stuffing hillbilly to vote against Barack Obama in 2012 and write incoherent comments on right wing blogs. It makes you wonder: If Al Gore had been president on 9/11, how many mainstream right wingers would be Troofers?

We all supported George W. at that time for a couple reasons. First of all, he was a naive nitwit who had no idea as to what he was doing (and could have had no idea 9/11 was going to happen). We prayed he’d come around, and when crisis strikes, Americans overwhelmingly support their president (highest approval ratings ever = Roosevelt after Pearl Harbor, Truman after Roosevelt’s death, Bush after 9/11). Second of all, as a naive nitwit, we knew he’d bomb the shit out of whoever did it. Turns out, he just bombed the shit out of the guy his dad also hated so he could get re-elected in a few years. Oh well. It was a good try by us.

But back to the point: This ‘martial law’ and ‘tyranny’ talk isn’t anything new. Mainstream right wing crybabies are willing to forgo all respect when it comes to getting their power back. Remember Ann Coulter spoke on 24-news about what Bill Clinton’s penis looked like (as if she wasn’t fantasizing)? You consider he was actually impeached for banging a fat chick — they’re willing to do anything to humiliate the opposition and appease the character actors playing right wing zealots on TV and radio.

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Conservatives are going to be all against the olympics for a while now. (After all, the olympics is just like the U.N…All the countries get together…One World Government…Fascism…Global “warming”…) And all this is going to somehow lead us back to the school “indoctrination” thing, and how children singing a song in school about many presidents (but putting just one part, about the “fascist” president, on YouTube) is basically the same as Mao and the Khymer Rouge because young athletes visited the White House the other day.

I hate everyone.

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Facebook User: Kill Obama (Because of his policies and only his policies, not because I, and others like me, are crazy people)

September 28, 2009
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Look. Conservatives protesting against Obama ARE NOT RACIST!

Why don’t you gay-loving liberals get that through your thick skulls!

Don’t tread on me! Obama just wants to give all my hard-earned money to BLACK PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK!!! THIS HAS NOTHING — NOTHING! — TO DO WITH RACISM!

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When someone on Facebook asks, “Should Obama be killed?” and 730 people actually vote in the poll, it has nothing to do with the fact that hillbillies have all the sudden come out of the woodwork, guns loaded, irrationality in full swing.

The poll asked respondents “Should Obama be killed?” The choices: No, Maybe, Yes, and Yes if he cuts my health care.

The question was not created by Facebook, but by an independent person using an add-on application that has been suspended from the site.

“The third-party application that enabled an individual user to create the offensive poll was brought to our attention this morning,” said Barry Schnitt, Facebook’s spokesman for policy.

IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE AGAINST HIS POLICIES! (Also, white Christians are descriminated against in America.)


Indoctrination, Martial Law, Hitler, Tyranny…

September 28, 2009
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It’s been well documented over the years that conservatives hate school. This is mostly due to the fact that schools teach English, math, history and science, which makes people smart (science is the biggie here). And if people become less stupid, and stop believing God is whispering to gremlin politicians, telling them to drop cluster bombs on brown and yellow people all over the world, politicians will lose power. And if they weren’t obsessed with power, they’d take jobs in the private sector that would pay them a shit ton more.

Turns out, 9/11 Truthers also hate school. I’m not sure of the real motivation behind this one. I assume it’s because when kids spend time in school, they’re not watching poorly-constructed YouTube movies about how Bush, Obama, Bill Clinton, and Tupac engineered 9/11 in order to police the world and kill it. Or something.

But, here’s something we might be hearing more about this week:

“Earlier this year,” according to Yahoo News, President Obama suggested that our students should spend more time in school due to the fact that we’re falling behind the rest of the world in basically every academic category.

“Now, I know longer school days and school years are not wildly popular ideas,” the president said earlier this year. “Not with Malia and Sasha, not in my family, and probably not in yours. But the challenges of a new century demand more time in the classroom.”

In a “recent interview with the Associate Press,” the education secretary explained that the school calendar was  “based upon the agrarian economy and not too many of our kids are working the fields today.”

It’s linked on the Drudge Report.

And it comes to this: Infowars.com has a headline that says, “Obama Demands Children Spend More Time in State Indoctrination Centers.”

Yep. State Indoctrination Centers.

I went to public school, and I don’t remember getting indoctrinated by “the state.” Now, I know it was a different time (Clinton was president) and Clinton wasn’t a black Hitler. He was just a white Hitler, according to these people, and that’s not so bad.

Alex Jones has already produced two documentaries about Obama. Can you imagine?250809top2 This guy is going to make millions off paranoid racists, 9/11 Truthers and a majority of conservatives who will believe anything bad there is to say about the president.

I’m sure you’re hearing about this now because of the phony outrage expressed by the right last week when a video of children being taught a patriotic song in school that happens to mention President Obama. The media needs something to sell this week, and since it doesn’t look like health care is coming to a vote any time soon, this is it.

The best is how whatever loser created this video actually put scary music in it. The comments are priceless. (For the record, yes, I think it’s a little creepy. But it’s not like these kids are grabbing assault rifles and killing Jews alongside Hitler’s scientists.)

basketballplayer182: Worship the messiah or you are not American. Pray the Obamahad 5 times daily toward D.C.

This must be what they want to replace the Pledge of Allegiance with in schools…

justhadsexwithyermom: Obama hates the U.S. & you fools voted him in just because he’s black.

I guess the jokes on you!

Anyway.

Since Barack Obama gave a speech telling kids to work hard, he indoctrinated them. Since he wants all Americans to have health care, he’s Hitler. This shit is getting really old, and I wonder when the right is going to wake up and realize they’ve knowingly(?) joined with the 9/11 Troof brigade, hating the president for reasons unknown, based purely on partisanship.

You know Michael Savage has now predicted a “false flag operation,” by the Obama administration, to declare martial law. Glenn Beck often copies whatever Michael Savage says, so he may soon predict this as well.

Martial law. Sigh.

What’s also funny about this shit is that Obama hasn’t really done anything yet. Like, seriously. What violence has he propagated? Really, none. I assume he’s working on getting the troops out from Afghanistan and Iraq, but I don’t know.

Have their been any Waco style events? Has Obama expanded upon the PATRIOT Act? Has he forced anyone, really, to do anything (besides the right wingers who pretend to believe he’s going to force them to change their doctor, or something)?


Conservatives Now Care About Hippies Protesting

September 25, 2009
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Drudge linked to a YouTube video expressing shock that “acoustic weapons” are “unleashed” on American soil.

I’m sorry, would we rather the police beat the shit out of these people with nightsticks?

In conclusion, who gives a fuck?


Judge To Birthers: Don’t Waste My Time Ever, Ever Again

September 17, 2009
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Every time I hear new news about the birther losers and, especially wigwam Orly Taitz, it reminds me of the quote from Billy Madison: “I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Well, now a judge has basically told her just that.

Huffington Post:

U.S. District Court Judge Clay Land has thrown out a complaint questioning the president’s birth from an Army captain fighting deployment to Iraq and gave a warning to her lawyer, birther maven Orly Taitz.

From Ledger Enquirer:

Land also put attorney Orly Taitz, who represents Capt. Connie Rhodes and is a leader in the national “birther” movement, on notice by stating that she could face sanctions if she ever files a similar “frivolous” lawsuit in his court.

“(Rhodes) has presented no credible evidence and has made no reliable factual allegations to support her unsubstantiated, conclusory allegations and conjecture that President Obama is ineligible to serve as president of the United States,” Land states in his order. “Instead, she uses her complaint as a platform for spouting political rhetoric, such as her claims that the president is ‘an illegal usurper, an unlawful pretender, [and] an unqualified imposter.'” […]

In his order, Land states in a footnote that Obama defeated seven opponents in a “grueling” primary campaign that cost the contenders more than $300 million. Obama then moved on to the general election, where he faced Sen. John McCain, who Land states got $84 million to wage his campaign.

“It would appear that ample opportunity existed for discovery of evidence that would support any contention that the president was not eligible for the office he sought,” Land says.

The judge adds that Congress hasn’t started impeachment proceedings against Obama, appears satisfied that he can hold the office and has rejected the suggestion he isn’t.

Taitz, who Land says has fueled the “birther movement” with her litigation, hasn’t appeared to have won any of her claims, the judge said. Taitz pressed her agenda by filing the complaint on behalf of Rhodes, a doctor who had her final two years of medical school paid for by taxpayers, Land states.

Rhodes doesn’t want to be discharged, relieved from her two-year obligation and hasn’t previously complained about any orders she’s received, including ones since Obama took office, Land says. The judge adds that Rhodes’ “conscientious objections” to serving Obama as commander in chief can be accommodated if she isn’t deployed.

This army captain should just come out with it and say the following: “I am scared to go to war in Iraq and am using this as my excuse. After all, the war is based on nothing, for nothing, and if I don’t save face, what else do I have?”


Beck: If You Call Me A Racist, You Are A Person Who Uses Children As Suicide Bombers

September 17, 2009
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…Because not a single one of the Tea Patriots are racists. I mean, come on. They just don’t want their rights taken away by a black guy who was born in Kenya and might be the anti-Christ and wants to give free money to “people” who don’t work and…

…is going to kill your white grandmother and incinerates the retarded and thinks white police officers are stupid (when they act as such) and was ONLY ELECTED IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE HE WAS BLACK AND IT’S EASY TO GET ELECTED PRESIDENT IF YOU’RE BLACK!

Yeah.

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20090916TeaParty01I found these pictures at Little Green Footballs. There are others.


Ted Nugent: Columnist

September 16, 2009
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lovegrenadespecial

Sometimes I read things and I think, what was I supposed to get out of that? Does anyone reading this think there was anything constructive in here?

Given, what I’m about to lay upon you is written by Ted Nugent, best known for one good song in the 70s, or something, and saying he was going to shove a gun up Hillary Clinton’s ass. In his newest column, he dislikes Michael Moore and his newest documentary, “Capitalism: A Love Story”:

No one I know will be giving Mikey any money to further encourage his Three Stooges logic and anti-American ideologies by paying to see this nonsense.  Actually, no one I know would be dumb enough to sit through it. (Ok, some people I know would, but they all work for NBC or the New York Times.)

HAHAHA! The New York Times and NBC are liberal so they are dumb enough to sit through Michael Moore’s movie! Who does Ted Nugent know who works for these companies?

What Moore and his idol, President Obama, fail to understand is that soaking the rich with higher taxes ultimately equates to middle class jobs disappearing, the very Americans ol’ Mikey claims to care about.  One of these days the economic numbskulls amongst us will figure that out.  If not, they will go through life feeding on table scraps instead of steak.

What?

Ultimately, those who rail against capitalism are people who claim they need to be babysat, bailed out and subsidized. They are either uneducated, ignorant, unskilled, scared or — for any number of reasons — fatalists accepting to be ill equipped to compete in the economic arena where the entrepreneurial dust is swirling and the sweat of excellence is flying unabated.

Instead of complimenting those who do compete in the economic arena, Moore, Obama and others of their ilk condemn and chastise the entrepreneurs instead of complimenting them. Mikey is czar of Bizzarro world.

So, yeah. Ted Nugent.

Sorry.


The Homicidal, Genocidal, Suicidal Ayn Rand: The New Right’s Hero

September 16, 2009
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ayn_rand_stamp

Leave it up to the right wingers to find the hip, new trend in novel writing: AYN RAND!

That’s right, the most boring, narcissistic novelist of all time has been making a comeback amongst the retirees and unemployed losers who hate the guy who’s trying to get them a job.

Tim Wise breaks it down in a must-read Daily Kos diary.

Service, according to the gospel of Limbaugh, is for suckers, for society’s “losers,” for people who have committed crimes. In other words, it should be viewed as punishment rather than as something to be applauded and encouraged. To do for community is a fool’s errand.

Yet as bizarre as his words may seem at first blush, they actually illustrate with bold clarity the fundamental (and increasingly common) core of the conservative belief system. They speak to the sociopathy that is at the heart of the far-right worldview. It is a worldview that holds, quite simply, that doing for others is contemptible; that doing for self is the purpose of human life; that altruism and service are somehow pathologies pushed by collectivists and should be subordinated to selfishness and greed.

Sound too extreme? Well if so, consider this. Among the most interesting phenomena of the past year–and especially since the inauguration of Barack Obama–has been the explosion of interest in (and sales of) books by the late author, Ayn Rand: most prominently her classic novels, The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. Indeed, the latter had an all-time record year in 2008, and 2009 sales are on a pace to shatter even last year’s numbers.

According to the Ayn Rand Center for Individual Rights, sales of the monstrosity “Atlas Shrugged” reached an all time high of 200,000 copies sold in 2008. Keep in mind most conservatives don’t read because they’re very busy not working and watching Glenn Beck at 5pm.

“Americans are flocking to buy and read ‘Atlas Shrugged’ because there are uncanny similarities between the plot-line of the book and the events of our day” said Yaron Brook, Executive Director at the Ayn Rand Center for Individual Rights. “Americans are rightfully concerned about the economic crisis and government’s increasing intervention and attempts to control the economy. Ayn Rand understood and identified the deeper causes of the crisis we’re facing, and she offered, in ‘Atlas Shrugged,’ a principled and practical solution consistent with American values.”

Wise runs down the values of Rand:

Rand’s disdain for the bulk of humanity was, indeed, so extreme that in the aforemetioned Atlas Shrugged–whose main character and “hero” John Galt has been referenced on numerous tea party signs–she indulges a pseudo-genocidal fantasy, in which virtually everyone except Galt and his few “perfect” producers is vanquished. This happy occurrence results from a “strike of the mind,” in which Galt and his superior colleagues of industry withdraw their talents from the nation and hole up in a mountain retreat, rather than submit to things like government regulations. Those whom Galt condemns in the book, and thus, whom Rand is herself condemning, are referred to as “parasites” who are unworthy of life. Indeed, Galt’s contempt for the weak of the world prompts he and his colleagues to banish the word “give” from their small utopian “gulch.” Giving, after all, much like calls for community service, is for suckers.

He goes on to describe Ayn Rand’s literary love affair with a psychopathic real-life murderer, William Edward Hickman. Her reason:

She indeed critiqued those who would condemn Hickman’s actions for having committed “worse sins and crimes,” such as those she ascribed to his jury. Among those “greater” crimes–greater than mutilating a child–she included being, “Average, everyday, rather stupid looking citizens. Shabbily dressed, dried, worn looking little men. Fat, overdressed, very average, ‘dignified’ housewives.” Their ordinariness, in other words, placed them below Hickman, in Rand’s mind. “How can they decide the fate of that boy? Or anyone’s fate?” she implored in her Journals.

That, and his complete disregard for everyone else. That’s really good, according to Randian values.

So, here’s the thing: When rightists say they’re against Obama’s “Day Of Service” on 9/11, it’s not because he’s desicrating 9/11 (because they don’t care about 9/11; snotty New Yorkers died, remember?), it’s because they think service is socialism. Any time you do anything for anyone at any time, it’s bad because you’re not getting paid for it. And in a capitalist country, you get paid for things you do, with paper money backed by nothing besides consumer confidence, as long as that lasts.

Rush Limbaugh recently ranted against the Day of Service, saying only prisoners should have to perform service (keep in mind, no one is being required to perform anything), because it is generally a bad thing. Punishment.

Ayn Rand’s idea of serving humanity by hating humanity and her homicidal fantasies about incinerating the poor and lazy, that’s not considered weird to the Tea Patriots. That’s why, when they try to mock liberals on their internet comment boards, they don’t say “I disagree with you on said policy for said reasons,” they say, “WEN UR DONE COLLECTING WELFARE AND DRAINING THIS COUNTRY OF ITS MONEY BC YOUR LAZY COME TALK TO ME LIBTARDO!!!1”

WATCH:


Girl Scouts Now Acting As Nazi Death Squads

September 15, 2009
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Obama_Poster_Hitler_Yesweca

In the 1930s, a man named Hitler rose to power. No one knew much about him, except that he’d come from a church with a crazy preacher, but people generally ignored it. Hitler also was fathered by a man he never knew, and his mother moved around a lot.

Later in life, Hitler wrote books about his life which involved “dreams” of his long lost “father.” Upon his rise, Hitler promised the German people things like “universal health care” and an “end” to “wars.” He also banked on the German people believing his campaign slogan: “Change.” Some wondered if Hitler were really born in Germany, asking Hitler to show his birth certificate, but Hitler said no because people who ask that question are stupid.

In addition to this, Hitler had a girlfriend named Eva Braun, which, in American, translates to “Michelle.” What makes things even stranger is that in the old testament of the Bible (which Hitler claimed to read, though everyone knew he was actually a secret Hindu), there’s a passage in which the word “Hitler” is translated to “Satan.”

People followed Hitler everywhere he went and cheered at his speeches. They held German flags. Children were mesmerized by Hitler, too. They were called Hitler Youth. There was a small group called the League of German Girls, young women who did everything Hitler told them to do.

Hitler staged a fire and blamed it on Polish communists, his enemy (even though communists and fascists are the same.) He then murdered millions and millions in the name of a world government, headed by the United Nations (which was Hitler’s plan) and spoke of being a “citizen of the world”, not a “citizen of Germany”. There were scores of patriotic Germans who protested against Hitler, correctly saying his universal health care system was going to kill their grandmothers and that he was the anti-Christ. First, those protesters were dismissed as loons. Then they were murdered by the Hitler “Hope and Change” government, and armed guards who had originally volunteered to join what was then called Stadt Jahr, or, translated for English: “City Year.” When the protesters said, no, you can’t kill us, Hitler responded with one of his campaign slogans: “Yes We Can.”

Infowars:

US Girl Scouts prepare for war, pestilence

The United States wants to enlist its 3.4 million Girl Scouts in the effort to combat hurricanes, pandemics, terror attacks and other disasters. The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) launched a campaign Tuesday to entice the blue, brown and green-clad multitudes to be even more prepared, with the promise of a new patch if they pitch in.

“This new preparedness patch will increase citizen preparedness and enhance our country’s readiness for disasters,” said DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano in a statement. Girl Scouts of the USA chief executive Kathy Cloninger said the tie up with Citizen Corps “provides an opportunity for our girls to lead the way in ensuring that their families and their communities are prepared for emergencies.”

But this should give you some “comfort”:

It is not the first time the girl guides have been called into action in defense of the homeland. During World War II, Girl Scouts “operated bicycle courier services, invested more than 48,000 hours in Farm Aid projects, collected fat and scrap metal, and grew Victory Gardens,” according to Girl Scouts of the USA.

It’s nice to know that the United States now has its own version of Hitler’s League of German Girls program.


Attacks on President’s Legitimacy: Nothing New

September 14, 2009
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Glenn Greenwald breaks it down.

To see that, just look at what that movement’s leading figures said and did during the Clinton years.  In 1994, Jesse Helms, then-Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, claimed that “just about every military man” believes Clinton is unqualified to be Commander-in-Chief and then warned/threatened him not to venture onto military bases in the South:  “Mr. Clinton better watch out if he comes down here. He better have a bodyguard.”  The Wall St. Journal called for a Special Prosecutor to investigate the possible “murder” of Vince Foster.  Clinton was relentlessly accused by leading right-wing voices of being a murderer, a serial rapist, and a drug trafficker.  Tens of millions of dollars and barrels of media ink were expended investigating “Whitewater,” a “scandal” which, to this day, virtually nobody can even define.  When Clinton tried to kill Osama bin Laden, they accused him of “wagging the dog” — trying to distract the country from the truly important matters at hand (his sex scandal).  And, of course, the GOP ultimately impeached him over that sex scandal — in the process issuing a lengthy legal brief with footnotes detailing his sex acts (cigars and sex talk), publicly speculating about (and demanding examinations of) the unique “distinguishing” spots on his penis, and using leading right-wing organs to disseminate innuendo that he had an abandoned, out-of-wedlock child.  More intense and constant attacks on a President’s “legitimacy” are difficult to imagine.

Republicans acting like children and fantasizing about the president becoming a dictator or some other such nonsense isn’t new. It’s how they operate. They’re assholes. They’re obsessed with whatever works with the public. Their strategists understand what sells: Death. Sex. Money.

During the Clinton years, they used both sex (in obvious terms) and death to scare the public. That’s why you started seeing the militia movement on the right, with both Waco and Tim McVeigh. Now, you’ve got that same militia movement making a comeback because they’re afraid Obama is going to take away their guns.

They’re mad about taxes, even though most of them are paying less taxes now than they have at most points in their lives. But they’re mad, anyway. Whatever.

And you’ve got sex. There aren’t any Obama sex rumors going around yet, but we’ll probably see something like that, soon. Drudge tried to spread rumors that Obama was having an affair with Hollywood actress Scarlett Johansson during the election. Freepers are already making slurs about the Obama daughters — just imagine when they get into the “tween” age. You’ll probably see the president linked to a white woman at some point, to bring out the racists who hate him based on principal of his birth (his mom banged a black dude). When they ask where the birth certificate is, it’s code for the legitimacy of his birth, right? It has nothing to do with “where” he was born as those who believe he was born overseas only believe so because they ignore information available through a 3-second Google search. Their real outrage has to do with “how” he was conceived — a big mean black man and a white hippie woman. That’s what’s really illegitimate to them.

Prominent Republicans made regular appearances on cable news during the 9os and spoke openly about Bill Clinton’s penis and others were so obsessed with an affair he had, they accused him of “wagging the dog” when he tried to kill bin Laden, as Greenwald writes. Then, seven years later, when they were about to lose both houses of congress, they accused the president of not doing enough to find bin Laden, which led to Clinton’s awesome outburst against loser-monger Chris Wallace.

Barack Obama has to ignore the mouth breathers who have made it mainstream comparing him to Hitler, something they comdemned constantly while the fringe left did it over the last eight years. As long as he tries to appease their sickness, they’ll never get better. They probably won’t, anyway, but at least if they’re ignored, it will leave them time to look in the mirror and realize what they are.


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