American Shorts

Infowars Psychotic Roundup

September 30, 2009
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This picture was on Infowars. It’s pretty funny.

selfportThese headlines are on Inforwars. They’re also really, really funny:

Liberals and Democrats will support the coming mass murder campaign against Iran

Kurt Nimmo writes how the U.S. is going to slaughter Iran for false reasons the same way we did to Yugoslavia in the 90s with liberals pretending to believe it’s a human rights venture. Okay. I can see that.

Minnesota County Conducts “Operation Big Shot” Mass Vaccination Drill

Kurt Nimmo again. This time, he talks about how Ramsey County officials are going to force the H1N1 vaccine on their county as an experiment against the American people. Infowars is generally anti-vaccination. They think it’s for mind control, or something.

Paramilitary Force To Boss Internment Camp In Montana

I knew there was some shady police force that was going to begin guarding this prison in Montana, because they might switch the torture sites at Guantanamo Bay to this place. This article is about how the prison is actually — like FEMA camps — an experiment to imprison all Americans, for one reason or another, and then, like, New World Order (?)

This is the best line in the article:

Since a majority of the American people have now been designated as potential domestic terrorists by the federal government, fears are growing that the prison camp will be used to incarcerate citizens against their will during a flu pandemic or any other declared emergency.

“A majority” of Americans! Ha! Priceless!

Here’s a couple questions about the New World Order thing. Let’s say the Skull and Bones reptilian humanoids actually do wipe our humanity. Then what? There will be about 100 people left on earth. What are they going to do with each other? Will they keep really hot chicks alive to bang them? Because last time I looked, German Chancellor Merkel wasn’t exactly a looker. I mean, what’s the point of wiping out humanity? Who will they rule over? How will they fill their days? What will they eat?

I want an answer.


Psycho. Psycho. Psycho

September 3, 2009
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People really — in real. Fucking. Life. — believe President Obama is a socialist. Their reasoning? They don’t have any. (If they did, they’d have to admit Eisenhower, Kennedy, Nixon, etc. were socialists.)

From Ed.gov:

The president will challenge students to work hard, set educational goals, and take responsibility for their learning.

President Obama is telling school children to work hard, help each other (communism), set goals, and take responsibility for their actions. If our nation’s public school students are encouraged to do well, perhaps — just perhaps — public education might get better.

But the “us vs. them” conservatives can’t have that.

They need things the government helps out in to do poorly. They need the people the government helps to fail. They need President Obama, and America by extension, to fail. Then, not only can they say “See, government doesn’t work,” but they can blame the president and get another bumbling Bible literalist in office.

Can you imagine what it must be like to grow up the child of someone who keeps their kids home from school because the president they disagree with (because of internet rumors) plans on encouraging their kids to do well?

That’s why educations sucks in the most religious, red states. That’s why all the blue state money gets filtered to their broke asses — yet, they’re the ones against taxation. Good luck, pals.


Idaho: Hunt The Black

August 28, 2009
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pic

We all know how manly it is to go into the woods with another dude, wear a combination of camouflage and neon orange, drink beers, sleep under the stars, wake up, compare penis size, and kill animals with guns.

Rex Rammell is running for governor of Idaho in 2010.

From Huffington Post:

When an audience member shouted a question about “Obama tags,” Rammell responded, “The Obama tags? We’d buy some of those.” …

Rammell told The Associated Press Thursday he sees no reason to apologize for the comment because it was just a joke.

“What I would say to all my Democrat Idahoans: Take a deep breath and relax,” he said. “We’re not going to go out and hunt Obama.”

He also told the Times-News newspaper, “I would never support him being assassinated.”

Whew. That was close. Good thing he would never support an assassination. But, I mean, if it happened…right?