American Shorts

Red State (dot) (com) Intellectual Photo Essay

October 8, 2009
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Over at wingnut website Red State (where editor and fat douchebag Erick Erickson is still calling safe school czar Kevin Jennings the statutory rape czar because of a case in which a 16-year-old in Massachusetts may have had sex with an adult under Jennings’ watch, and Jennings may have known about it; unfortunately, in Massachusetts, you’re legal at 16 and Jennings was legally bound to not say anything) there’s an unbelievably hilarious photo diary, in which user jiynnr compares Obama (the Arab) to General McChrystal (whom most conservatives learned about a week ago and only like because its in their caricature to do so.)

Basically, the anonymous user has created a series of pictures representing what Obama does, then representing what McChrystal does. Turn up your dumbness factor for this one:

obamasworkenvironmentObama gets drunk all day, at work. He’s a raging alcoholic.

obamasenemyTerrorists are not Obama’s enemy. The United States of America is. He decided to run for president so he could bound and torture his enemy, America.

mccrystals menobamasmenHow are the black panthers Obama’s men? I’m pretty sure this one is just racist.

obamalettermanWhile the troops talk to Afghanis, the president hangs out with David Letterman (WHO CHEATED ON HIS WIFE).

Anyway, it goes on and is at least as stupid the whole time.


I think this might be a fun thing to do, too.

President Obama’s job:


Jiynnr’s job:

Maintaining mom’s basement.

President Obama’s yearly salary:


jiynnr’s salary:

Free lunch and dinner. Brow beatings from father. (“Why don’t you get a job, son? You’re 40.”)

President Obama’s wife:


Jiynnr’s wife:

Made of plastic (probably.)

President Obama’s favorite game:

Being president. (Basketball during the downtime.)

Jiynnr’s favorite game:

World of Warcraft/Magic/Dungeons and Dragons (probably.)

President Obama’s daily decisions:

How to prosecute the wars in Afghanistan/Iraq. Work on health care reform. Deal with dictators and Republicans. Stop terror on American soil. Work on fixing the economy. Make America a good place again.

Jiynnr’s daily decisions:

Rainbow or chocolate sprinkles?


Here’s what Red State users commented:

redneck_hippie: Recommended – especially the final picture showing that which is quintessentially Obama: a water sprite or nymph with no connection to earth-bound reality.

Coldwarrior: Stud versus girlie man.

Thank you.



Afghanistan: Worthless

October 5, 2009
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It’s gotta be said. One of the lasting negative effects of the Bush administration is the useless, worthless war in Afghanistan. It, like Iraq, was a bizarre, yet useful, re-election effort on behalf of the Bush administration. And, like LBJ before him, Obama seems to not know when to just pack up and leave the impossible conquest.

When you see shit like this on right-wing websites, you got to know something’s up.


10 troops? When was the last time Drudge posted a headline about 10 dead troops in Iraq?

A process is beginning. This process will take place over the next several months — perhaps a year. Obama will do whatever he thinks needs to be done in Afghanistan, which he falsely calls a “war of necessity.” As evidenced by the right wing simultaneous joyous jig when the the United States didn’t get picked for the Olympics, the right will celebrate anything that goes against what Barack Obama wants. As RedState Editor and douchebag Erick Erickson wrote today, “I root for America, therefore I root against Barack Obama.”

Pretend or not, the mindset actually goes, whatever Barack Obama does, America should be the opposite.

So, no matter what he does in Afghanistan, it’s going to be bad to them. He sends in all the troops McChrystal wants, they exploit the deaths and supposed “tactical errors.” He doesn’t give enough, they say he’s anti-military and they exploit the deaths. He pulls out, he hates America.

That’s why the only choice is to pull out. This war was birthed based on politics, not necessity. The radical, loony right wing is going to believe Barack Obama hates America and was born in Kenya no matter what, because they are psychopaths. He might as well not let more Americans and Afghanis needlessly die because of it. afghanistan2

After all, with rumors that David Petraeus will be running for office in 2012, he might as well begin the attempt toward what we’ve wanted all along: an anti-militarism policy; the admission that all American military ventures, save World War II (maybe) have been meaningless and useless, based on manufactured lies and the ability to mass slaughter people who look different.

Obama, we all know you’ve read the radical intellectuals. You know shit. You know what should be done. So, just do it. Pull the fuck out. Military ventures historically destroy democratic presidencies and world leaders look weak when they say something they don’t totally believe in, which you do when you argue in favor of violence.

Mr. President, please, pull the fuck out.