American Shorts

Afghanistan: Worthless

October 5, 2009
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It’s gotta be said. One of the lasting negative effects of the Bush administration is the useless, worthless war in Afghanistan. It, like Iraq, was a bizarre, yet useful, re-election effort on behalf of the Bush administration. And, like LBJ before him, Obama seems to not know when to just pack up and leave the impossible conquest.

When you see shit like this on right-wing websites, you got to know something’s up.

afghanistan

10 troops? When was the last time Drudge posted a headline about 10 dead troops in Iraq?

A process is beginning. This process will take place over the next several months — perhaps a year. Obama will do whatever he thinks needs to be done in Afghanistan, which he falsely calls a “war of necessity.” As evidenced by the right wing simultaneous joyous jig when the the United States didn’t get picked for the Olympics, the right will celebrate anything that goes against what Barack Obama wants. As RedState Editor and douchebag Erick Erickson wrote today, “I root for America, therefore I root against Barack Obama.”

Pretend or not, the mindset actually goes, whatever Barack Obama does, America should be the opposite.

So, no matter what he does in Afghanistan, it’s going to be bad to them. He sends in all the troops McChrystal wants, they exploit the deaths and supposed “tactical errors.” He doesn’t give enough, they say he’s anti-military and they exploit the deaths. He pulls out, he hates America.

That’s why the only choice is to pull out. This war was birthed based on politics, not necessity. The radical, loony right wing is going to believe Barack Obama hates America and was born in Kenya no matter what, because they are psychopaths. He might as well not let more Americans and Afghanis needlessly die because of it. afghanistan2

After all, with rumors that David Petraeus will be running for office in 2012, he might as well begin the attempt toward what we’ve wanted all along: an anti-militarism policy; the admission that all American military ventures, save World War II (maybe) have been meaningless and useless, based on manufactured lies and the ability to mass slaughter people who look different.

Obama, we all know you’ve read the radical intellectuals. You know shit. You know what should be done. So, just do it. Pull the fuck out. Military ventures historically destroy democratic presidencies and world leaders look weak when they say something they don’t totally believe in, which you do when you argue in favor of violence.

Mr. President, please, pull the fuck out.

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Potential War With Iran?

October 2, 2009
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Um, why do I have to read this story at Fox Nation, the internet’s worst website?

Obama said Iran must grant international inspectors “unfettered” access to its newly disclosed nuclear facility within two weeks.

This shit is fucked. I mean, really? Obama might use force against Iran?

I’m not that worried because, you can tell just by the way he speaks on such matters, that he really doesn’t want to. (The main reason for that is that there’s no reason to. Case closed.)

Iran, for all its rhetoric, is a peaceful country. I realize it’s in the middle east, and the middle east is bad, but come on — what has Iran done?

All the talk about Iranians training al Qaeda — unfounded. All the shit about I’m a Dinner Jacket inciting a Holocaust or something — based on nothing. And now we’re scared they’re going to build a nuclear bomb? Think about that. “A nuclear bomb.” One.

Iran building a bomb means nothing. There are plenty of countries throughout the world with bombs. They know that if they used these bombs, their countries would cease to exist because then the United States would have a real reason — backed up by everyone — to use our own bombs.

Why isn’t this being reported on the liberal blogs, or even news sites. No talk of it on Think Progress, Huffington Post or Crooks and Liars. Something needs to be said about the priorities of those whose “guy” is in power. I mean, liberal blogs are advertising T-shirts now saying “Respect the president.” Really? Do you wear that in rotation with your Che T-shirts?

As much as the radical right has been going nuts, pushing the same conspiracies they railed against during the Bush years, the left has really gotten in line here. I’m probably at least partially guilt of that. I mean, I like the guy. I want him to do awesome. I want America to be great. And in so doing, I’ve probably blown off lots of legitimate concerns by the right — even if most of the concerns are conspiracies that have to do with an innate hatred based on…lots of things.ShahNuclearPlants

For once, I think at least, Infowars might be right.

I thought Bush and Cheney wanted war with Iran, after they released that stupid speed boat video, and Bush used to claim I’m a Dinner Jacket was ready to bomb Israel, but Obama definitely doesn’t want to. And let’s be perfectly clear here. Iran has been building nuclear reactors since the 70s — the United States actually encouraged the Shah, our puppet, to do so.

I mean, I’m sorry the elections didn’t work out over there — but in 2000, they didn’t work out here, either. Shit happens. I’m glad people protested against their government over there, but that shouldn’t be used as a potential added excuse — as it could be — to commit genocide across what is a pretty up-to-date middle eastern country. If anything, the protests are a reason not to do anything — they’re fine. They practice free speech and seem to be allowed to do so, at least on some scale.

I just “hope” Obama doesn’t go the way of LBJ with this shit.


Alan Grayson: The Newest (and only) Badass of the Democratic Congress

October 1, 2009
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I wasn’t sure about this guy when I first read of the uproar.

But he’s a total badass. If you haven’t seen it yet, watch this:

He was called onto apologize. He didn’t:

Democrats need more people like this. He’s a first-term congressman, and he’s all like, “I didn’t know this shit was so fucked before I got here. But now I do. And because of that, I’m gonna fuck you bitches up.”

Republicans aren’t sure how to deal with him, because, basically, he’s not speaking professionally. On CNN today, he called Republicans who oppose health reform, “knuckle draggers” and “neanderthals.” I mean, awesome! That’s what the fuck they are.

He can accuse other politicians of taking money from the health industry because he clearly hasn’t had enough time to do so. And he’s totally right, by the way. The Republicans have no plan. All they have are empty promises of bipartisanship through doing nothing and letting more Americans die due to lack of health care.

This is something we should all remember, and I think it might have the potential to change the debate:

According to this study, “Health Insurance and Mortality in U.S. Adults” which was published two weeks ago, 44,789 Americans die every year because they have no health insurance. That’s right, 44,789 Americans die every year, according to this Harvard study called “Health Insurance and Mortality in U.S. Adults.” You can see it by going to our website, grayson.house.gov.

That is more than ten times the number of Americans who have died in the war in Iraq. It’s more than ten times the number of Americans who died in 9/11. But that was just once: this is every single year. That’s right: every single year.

More than 44,000. Why should we allow that to happen? This is the motherfucking United States, not the Soviet Union. And keep in mind the 44,000 number is just the “deaths.” We’re not talking about injuries and the loss of jobs due to time off work — or bankruptcies due to medical bills, for that matter.

It would be a great time in America if this guy, a freshman congressman from Orlando, could change the debate due to real, hard facts and numbers. However, the right has been able to change the debate several times but ignoring numbers and throwing the word “death” around as much as possible. People generally have more faith in phony outrage entertainment actors and freakshows on cable news who used to make livings haunting the wives of their shock jock rivals through threatening and insulting phone calls, making fun of things like miscarriages.

“A couple days after Kelly’s wife, Terry, had a miscarriage, Beck called her live on the air and says, ‘We hear you had a miscarriage,’ ” remembers Brad Miller, a former Y95 DJ and Clear Channel programmer. “When Terry said, ‘Yes,’ Beck proceeded to joke about how Bruce [Kelly] apparently can’t do anything right — about he can’t even have a baby.”

That’s what that’s about.

We all need to keep in mind that once the debate shifts to freakshow, it can only get more freakshow and fucked. Mindless drones and gargoyles like Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck control the debate for a certain amount of idiotic Americans who believe these cowards have something constructive to say through their acting and (in the case of Palin), it’s hard to tell what else. Bulldoggedness?

Alan Grayson even posted a blog on DailyKos. It, too, is awesome.

And now the Republicans claim they are going to introduce a resolution “disapproving” of my behavior.

What is this, junior high school?  Do they think my feelings are hurt?  Just what do these people think health care means?  It’s not some abstract “issue”, we’re talking about life and death!  And the Republicans, who ran the government in full or in part from 2001-2009, chose to let those 44,000 people die, every single year when they were in power.  And George W. Bush, whom the Republicans somehow pretend was not President for the last eight years, just let them die.  He even vetoed health care for poor children.

So apologize?  I don’t think so.

That’s fucking rockstar.


Infowars Psychotic Roundup

September 30, 2009
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This picture was on Infowars. It’s pretty funny.

selfportThese headlines are on Inforwars. They’re also really, really funny:

Liberals and Democrats will support the coming mass murder campaign against Iran

Kurt Nimmo writes how the U.S. is going to slaughter Iran for false reasons the same way we did to Yugoslavia in the 90s with liberals pretending to believe it’s a human rights venture. Okay. I can see that.

Minnesota County Conducts “Operation Big Shot” Mass Vaccination Drill

Kurt Nimmo again. This time, he talks about how Ramsey County officials are going to force the H1N1 vaccine on their county as an experiment against the American people. Infowars is generally anti-vaccination. They think it’s for mind control, or something.

Paramilitary Force To Boss Internment Camp In Montana

I knew there was some shady police force that was going to begin guarding this prison in Montana, because they might switch the torture sites at Guantanamo Bay to this place. This article is about how the prison is actually — like FEMA camps — an experiment to imprison all Americans, for one reason or another, and then, like, New World Order (?)

This is the best line in the article:

Since a majority of the American people have now been designated as potential domestic terrorists by the federal government, fears are growing that the prison camp will be used to incarcerate citizens against their will during a flu pandemic or any other declared emergency.

“A majority” of Americans! Ha! Priceless!

Here’s a couple questions about the New World Order thing. Let’s say the Skull and Bones reptilian humanoids actually do wipe our humanity. Then what? There will be about 100 people left on earth. What are they going to do with each other? Will they keep really hot chicks alive to bang them? Because last time I looked, German Chancellor Merkel wasn’t exactly a looker. I mean, what’s the point of wiping out humanity? Who will they rule over? How will they fill their days? What will they eat?

I want an answer.


Gibbs: Is Steele hoping to hop a plane to Brazil and catch the Olympics in Rio?

September 30, 2009
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Nice.

It’s true, you know. Those who criticize Obama for trying to get the olympics in America: Where do you think the olympics should be? Why isn’t America good enough for the olympics?

Why do you hate America so much?


Obama Wants Olympics In America Because He Hates America

September 29, 2009
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It’s creeping up to 7am. Do you know what your phone outrage of the day is going to be?

The potential 2016 Olympics in Chicago.

foxnation

To conservatives, because Barack Obama is from Chicago (and everyone knows Barack Obama is a non-American Hitler), Chicago is also not American. On top of that, Chicago represents some other terrible things. Chicago is where conservatives pretend to beleive John F. Kennedy “stole” the 1960 election (even though there were several recounts in Illinois and JFK did not need Illinois’ electoral votes to in the election). If John F. Kennedy were never elected, they believe, there would be no liberals, no Kennedy “dynasty” and no Medicare and such (because LBJ, too, would never have been president.) Unfortunately, there still would have been Vietnam (started by Eisenhower), the U.S. still would have come off the gold standard, and Kissinger would still have slaughtered millions in Cambodia.

Anyway, other people from Chicago include the ultimate blogger, Rod “Blog” – Oi! – Uh, vich? and the ultimate Hitler-Jew, Rahm Emanuel (and his evil shadowy doctor brother, Ezekiel, who wants to perform human experimentation on your grandmother and retarded babies.) These people are all terrible, and Obama sleeps with the devil.

So.

Conservatives are pretending to believe Barack Obama has secret ambitions to get the Olympics in Chicago in 2016, his potential last year in office. And you know why he’s doing that? Think Berlin, 1938! You want me to explain further? (No.)

Charles Johnson at Little Green Footballs found this at Michelle Malkin’s phony outrage site:

On September 28th, 2009 at 2:20 pm, 24Klady said:

We can’t find out what the salaries of the czars are, and now another office funded out of a backroom with no $$ accountability. Does anyone doubt the U.S. portion of the Olympics will end up being paid for by the taxpayer, and the atheletes used for political purposes just like Berlin/1938?

[…]

On September 28th, 2009 at 2:51 pm, Tazed and Confused said:

Re: Obama shaking hands with inner-city school kids … encouraging them … .
“yea bro, you can deal crack, score a bodacious ho, and still become president … . lookatme!”

So. Drudge, who operates on misleading headlines that are phrased in such a way to get us to believe what’s “really” going on, has this up as his main headline right now:

drudge

All those people are, to the squidbillies, Obama. And if the Olympics come to Chicago (especially Obama’s Kenyan brothers and sisters who witnessed him birthed in Kenya, not Hawaii), Obama will hit us with 2x4s (or, hit OUR WALLETS with 2x4s) right after he re-creates 9/11 in some southern “real American” (see also: confederate) city in order to declare martial law.

But this is from the President Bush Whitehouse.org archives:

THE PRESIDENT: I want to thank the members of the 2016 Chicago bid to get the Olympics. Listen, Mr. Mayor, you and your committee have put together a great plan. It’s a plan that will make America proud.

They say that the Olympics will come to Chicago if we’re fortunate enough to be selected, but really it’s coming to America, and I can’t think of a better city to represent the United States than Chicago.
President George W. Bush and Chicago Mayor Richard Daley hold up a T-shirt touting Chicago 2016, during a meeting Monday, Jan. 7, 2008, with with members of the Chicago 2016 Bid Committee and the U.S. Olympic Committee. Said the President, "This country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics." White House photo by Joyce N. Boghosian This is a well thought out venue. There will be — the athletes will be taken care of. People who will be coming from around the world will find this good city has got fantastic accommodations, great restaurants. It will be safe.

And so I — this country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics.

Thank you all.

President Bush, I think, is in on this secret plot by Obama, somehow. But nevermind that. He wasn’t a “real conservative“, remember? Only Sarah Palin is.

Sometimes, you’ve just got to look at this shit and wonder the lengths these pundits/character actors will go to in order to work a fake story. I mean, getting the olympics to Chicago is anti-American? Why?

Actually, I’m still wondering how Obama is like Hitler. I know, they both executed a Holocaust — but I mean besides that.

The fact is this. Conservatives, as they exist today (the wingnut version) are children. Babies without a bottle. They’re so angry they’re out of power and, of all people, a black man is in power, they’re willing to forget everything they pretended to support over the last, I don’t know, 20 — 30? — years. That’s why you’ve now got conservatives calling for a pullout of the middle east, and the rest of the world. That’s why suddenly they want back on the gold standard and police are bad.

They’re willing to accept any conspiracy theory, no matter how psycho, in order to convince one more tobacco-lip-stuffing hillbilly to vote against Barack Obama in 2012 and write incoherent comments on right wing blogs. It makes you wonder: If Al Gore had been president on 9/11, how many mainstream right wingers would be Troofers?

We all supported George W. at that time for a couple reasons. First of all, he was a naive nitwit who had no idea as to what he was doing (and could have had no idea 9/11 was going to happen). We prayed he’d come around, and when crisis strikes, Americans overwhelmingly support their president (highest approval ratings ever = Roosevelt after Pearl Harbor, Truman after Roosevelt’s death, Bush after 9/11). Second of all, as a naive nitwit, we knew he’d bomb the shit out of whoever did it. Turns out, he just bombed the shit out of the guy his dad also hated so he could get re-elected in a few years. Oh well. It was a good try by us.

But back to the point: This ‘martial law’ and ‘tyranny’ talk isn’t anything new. Mainstream right wing crybabies are willing to forgo all respect when it comes to getting their power back. Remember Ann Coulter spoke on 24-news about what Bill Clinton’s penis looked like (as if she wasn’t fantasizing)? You consider he was actually impeached for banging a fat chick — they’re willing to do anything to humiliate the opposition and appease the character actors playing right wing zealots on TV and radio.

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Conservatives are going to be all against the olympics for a while now. (After all, the olympics is just like the U.N…All the countries get together…One World Government…Fascism…Global “warming”…) And all this is going to somehow lead us back to the school “indoctrination” thing, and how children singing a song in school about many presidents (but putting just one part, about the “fascist” president, on YouTube) is basically the same as Mao and the Khymer Rouge because young athletes visited the White House the other day.

I hate everyone.


Facebook User: Kill Obama (Because of his policies and only his policies, not because I, and others like me, are crazy people)

September 28, 2009
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Look. Conservatives protesting against Obama ARE NOT RACIST!

Why don’t you gay-loving liberals get that through your thick skulls!

Don’t tread on me! Obama just wants to give all my hard-earned money to BLACK PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK!!! THIS HAS NOTHING — NOTHING! — TO DO WITH RACISM!

original

When someone on Facebook asks, “Should Obama be killed?” and 730 people actually vote in the poll, it has nothing to do with the fact that hillbillies have all the sudden come out of the woodwork, guns loaded, irrationality in full swing.

The poll asked respondents “Should Obama be killed?” The choices: No, Maybe, Yes, and Yes if he cuts my health care.

The question was not created by Facebook, but by an independent person using an add-on application that has been suspended from the site.

“The third-party application that enabled an individual user to create the offensive poll was brought to our attention this morning,” said Barry Schnitt, Facebook’s spokesman for policy.

IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE AGAINST HIS POLICIES! (Also, white Christians are descriminated against in America.)


Indoctrination, Martial Law, Hitler, Tyranny…

September 28, 2009
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It’s been well documented over the years that conservatives hate school. This is mostly due to the fact that schools teach English, math, history and science, which makes people smart (science is the biggie here). And if people become less stupid, and stop believing God is whispering to gremlin politicians, telling them to drop cluster bombs on brown and yellow people all over the world, politicians will lose power. And if they weren’t obsessed with power, they’d take jobs in the private sector that would pay them a shit ton more.

Turns out, 9/11 Truthers also hate school. I’m not sure of the real motivation behind this one. I assume it’s because when kids spend time in school, they’re not watching poorly-constructed YouTube movies about how Bush, Obama, Bill Clinton, and Tupac engineered 9/11 in order to police the world and kill it. Or something.

But, here’s something we might be hearing more about this week:

“Earlier this year,” according to Yahoo News, President Obama suggested that our students should spend more time in school due to the fact that we’re falling behind the rest of the world in basically every academic category.

“Now, I know longer school days and school years are not wildly popular ideas,” the president said earlier this year. “Not with Malia and Sasha, not in my family, and probably not in yours. But the challenges of a new century demand more time in the classroom.”

In a “recent interview with the Associate Press,” the education secretary explained that the school calendar was  “based upon the agrarian economy and not too many of our kids are working the fields today.”

It’s linked on the Drudge Report.

And it comes to this: Infowars.com has a headline that says, “Obama Demands Children Spend More Time in State Indoctrination Centers.”

Yep. State Indoctrination Centers.

I went to public school, and I don’t remember getting indoctrinated by “the state.” Now, I know it was a different time (Clinton was president) and Clinton wasn’t a black Hitler. He was just a white Hitler, according to these people, and that’s not so bad.

Alex Jones has already produced two documentaries about Obama. Can you imagine?250809top2 This guy is going to make millions off paranoid racists, 9/11 Truthers and a majority of conservatives who will believe anything bad there is to say about the president.

I’m sure you’re hearing about this now because of the phony outrage expressed by the right last week when a video of children being taught a patriotic song in school that happens to mention President Obama. The media needs something to sell this week, and since it doesn’t look like health care is coming to a vote any time soon, this is it.

The best is how whatever loser created this video actually put scary music in it. The comments are priceless. (For the record, yes, I think it’s a little creepy. But it’s not like these kids are grabbing assault rifles and killing Jews alongside Hitler’s scientists.)

basketballplayer182: Worship the messiah or you are not American. Pray the Obamahad 5 times daily toward D.C.

This must be what they want to replace the Pledge of Allegiance with in schools…

justhadsexwithyermom: Obama hates the U.S. & you fools voted him in just because he’s black.

I guess the jokes on you!

Anyway.

Since Barack Obama gave a speech telling kids to work hard, he indoctrinated them. Since he wants all Americans to have health care, he’s Hitler. This shit is getting really old, and I wonder when the right is going to wake up and realize they’ve knowingly(?) joined with the 9/11 Troof brigade, hating the president for reasons unknown, based purely on partisanship.

You know Michael Savage has now predicted a “false flag operation,” by the Obama administration, to declare martial law. Glenn Beck often copies whatever Michael Savage says, so he may soon predict this as well.

Martial law. Sigh.

What’s also funny about this shit is that Obama hasn’t really done anything yet. Like, seriously. What violence has he propagated? Really, none. I assume he’s working on getting the troops out from Afghanistan and Iraq, but I don’t know.

Have their been any Waco style events? Has Obama expanded upon the PATRIOT Act? Has he forced anyone, really, to do anything (besides the right wingers who pretend to believe he’s going to force them to change their doctor, or something)?


Afghanistan: Not Cool and Awesome

September 25, 2009
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afgh.jpg4btyw4

Pat Buchanan, for all his Hitler-defending psychotics, has a really good piece regarding a withdrawal of Afghanistan at Human Events.

Under Taliban control, Afghanistan would be a sanctuary for the Pakistani Taliban, which would be emboldened to settle scores with the Islamabad politicians who had sided with the United States.

Taliban allies in the Pakistan army and intelligence services would be seen as on the wise and winning side, while those who sided with America would be seen as losers. The odds would rise that Pakistan would face a revived insurgency and acts of terror against the regime. The odds on the survival of a pro-American regime in a country already marinated in anti-Americanism would fall.

It sort of sucks, what started out as a George W. Bush re-election campaign, could end up being the fall of the west, at least according to this article. I personally don’t think Afghanistan is anything like Vietnam, considering there’ve been less than 1,000 American deaths in Afghanistan. Sure, both countries are unconquerable (according to history), but we leave Afghanistan, it’s not going to be that bad for us. There’ll be some kind of compromise where we just drop massive bombs on God knows who from mile-high drone planes. No harm done.

David Brooks has a similar, albeit less apocalyptic, opinion in the New York Times:

To put it concretely, this is a doctrine in which small groups of American men and women are outside the wire in dangerous places in remote valleys, providing security, gathering intelligence, helping to establish courts and building schools and roads.

These are the realistic choices for America’s Afghanistan policy — all out or all in, surrender the place to the Taliban or do armed nation-building. And we might as well acknowledge that it’s not an easy call. The costs and rewards are tightly balanced. But in the end, President Obama was right: “You don’t muddle through the central front on terror. … You don’t muddle through stamping out the Taliban.”

Everything’s fucked.


Conservatives Now Care About Hippies Protesting

September 25, 2009
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Drudge linked to a YouTube video expressing shock that “acoustic weapons” are “unleashed” on American soil.

I’m sorry, would we rather the police beat the shit out of these people with nightsticks?

In conclusion, who gives a fuck?


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